If it had no been for the Lord:

Time passes so quickly, now at 53 years old it seems my life is just beginning. Before the age of 43 much of my life is just a blur. Mentally, physically, and verbally abused as a child I grew up with very low self-esteem always feeling less than and alone. I just didn't seem to fit in.
In our home as a child I was never taught to strive to be all I could be, instead I was constantly reminded how much I was unwanted while told I was no good and would never be. Just to give you an idea, being adopted I was constantly told even before I was ten years of age that my birth mother didn't want me because she knew something was wrong with me, and that I would grow up to be a no good so-n-so just like she was. So I grew up feeling nothing but rejection.

Because of how I felt about myself I would never complete anything positive I started. I would go through life believing life was against me, because of how I viewed myself I was limiting myself to defeat. Drugs became both my source of strength and my escape from reality. Living in such a confused state of mind can only lead us in one direction, down.

Only by God's grace was I able to after 30 years of living in the same mind-set was I able to step back and ask myself, is this all my life is about?
At the age of 42 I finally hit rock bottom, I had seen the inside of the county jail more times than I care to remember, I was now homeless for the first time in my life, I became suicidal feeling more alone than ever before.

Thank God I was raised to believe in God and although I always carried doubts when the bottom fell out I called to the God I was raised to believe in. I asked Him to take me away from this place. I confessed my acknowledgement
of helplessness to change who I had become. I told Him whatever He wanted me to do I would do. Many times when we ask God for things it's less than whole-heartedly because we doubt. I on the other hand was to a point where I seen no other options, I was at the end of my rope hanging by a thread, if God wouldn't hear and rescue me there was no more hope.

The person I am today, the life I lead today, the peace of mind and spirit I have today, the accomplishments I've made, in my former state of mind I could have never imagined. God has taken me from a life of total confusion to a life of purpose and direction. I hated the person I had become, today I love the person I am. There is no doubt in my mind that only by God's power, grace, and mercy I am the person I am today. Below are pictures showing my accomplishments within the last nine years since asking God to order my steps.
May God continue to Bless You

The photos below are just further testimony that Life in Christ Jesus has been so much better. It's not always easy but nonetheless, life is so much better.
I praise you Father with every fiber of my being
Amen